The Worse Games
by fallingstar16
Summary: Peeta is killed by wild dogs while he's hunting with Katniss. What does she do now? Where does she take her children? This is my story. I'm Lily Mellark, Katniss and Peeta's daughter. I live in District 2 now. My grandmother disappeared and my mother is trying to find her. What do I do while she's gone?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Katniss climbed the tree, shouting below her for Peeta to climb, too. Even though she knew he couldn't. The wild dogs advanced on him. He hit one with the spear he held. It yipped as it died. The rest advanced on him, bringing him to the ground. Katniss sent arrows into the pack, but it was already too late. Peeta's throat was already ripped out. Katniss could do nothing but sit in the tree, sobbing until the pack left. There was almost nothing left of Peeta. Katniss climbed down out of the tree and walked, numbly, through the forest, back to District 12. She walked to her home, where Greasy Sae watched her children. What would she say? How? Their father was dead. What would her babies do? What would she do? She could stay here no longer. The pain was too much. First Prim, now Peeta. Her mother was working in District 4 and Gale in District 2, she would seek out her mother, first, and find that her mother had left. No one knew where to, they all thought that the pain of the loss had become too much and she had gone off to die. Katniss then took her children to District 2. Gale was married, and had children of his own. Two girls and a boy. Katniss's five-year-old daughter was the same age as Gale's youngest daughter. Gale and his wife, Elizabeth, graciously took in Katniss and her children, Lily and Briar. District 2 had changed much since Katniss had been there last. It was now a nice, tight-knit neighborhood. Elizabeth didn't like Katniss much. Who could blame her? She was once Clove's sister. A girl who Katniss had nearly been killed by in the 74th Hunger Games. Katniss had been saved by a boy named Thresh.

Gale's oldest two children are a year older than Lily. They were, obviously, twins. The twins' names are Camille and Tobby, and the youngest child's name is Poppy. Years later, ten to be exact, Lily and Poppy are the best of friends and hunt for food in the mountains.

I lie on the bed, wanting to go back to sleep. I miss Mom and wish that she would come back. She left a couple of weeks ago. Got a letter about Grandma. Somebody saw her or something. I don't really care. I never knew her and it sounds like she couldn't stand to be near my mother anymore. I think about my mother. Why is she so intent on finding my grandmother? After Dad died, she moved us here, to District 2, hoping that Gale would take her back. I don't understand why my mother chose to marry my father, but from what I've heard, from people who grew up with him, he was kind. Since I was only five when my father died, I don't remember him much. If you asked me who my father is, I'd say that it's Gale. He raised me and Briar, provided for us, and most important of all, taught me to fend for myself. Ever since I was little, Mom always said that she would never be like my grandmother. Apparently, my grandmother became depressed after my grandfather died. Too depressed to even feed her own children, my mother and the aunt I never knew, Prim. My mother started to think about why she had married my father after she found that she was pregnant with me. She told me that he had become hostile after what the Capitol had done to him, that he was no longer the boy who she had once had feelings for. He was violent and tried to kill her. She said that she began to wonder why she had married him. He had lied about her. About them. In the first Games they went into, he worked with the people who were hunting her the most. He had betrayed her trust many times. My mother feared that if she left me, as an infant, alone with my father, that something would happen. Whether it would be that he would have a memory (the trackerjacker venom had somehow bonded with his blood, and if he were mad, he would lose control of his temper, and hurt someone) and end up hurting me. I saw how much my mother loved my father, and I loved him too, but after what she told me, all of my memories of the slow-tempered, kind-hearted man I knew as my father were tainted. I just couldn't see him as the man who had danced with me in the Meadow, who had pretended to be a monster that Briar, at the age of three, could defeat. At first, I hated my mother for telling me this, after my father had died, but now I can see why she waited. She waited until I was ten, when I could really understand what she was telling me. She had given him credit. When he had gotten mad, he left. For hours, days, sometimes even weeks. When Mom went hunting, she would leave us with our neighbor, Greasy Sae, who I personally think was insane.

I sigh. I guess I should get up and eat before all the food from breakfast is gone. I get dressed. A tight, green shirt; a pair of worn-out pants, my leather boots, and a leather jacket - Mom gave it to me. She said it was important to her, but I don't know why, I think it had something to do with my grandfather who died in a mine explosion when my mom was young. I open the door and am greeted with a fist in the face.

"Well hello," I say to Brair, who stands before me with a look of shock on his face. His eyes are the same as Mom's but the rest of him is just like my father, which, I'm willing to bet, is why Gale didn't like him to begin with.

"I didn't have to wake you this morning," Brair sounds shocked.

"No," I say. "I didn't get much sleep last night." We start down the hall.

"Thinking about Mom, again?"

"Yeah. I mean, how can she just up and leave us?"

"At least she left us with Gale and Lizzy. She could have left us like Grandma did to her."

"Yes, but that's exactly why I'm worried about her. Grandma never did anything to help Mom, from what Mom's told me, and yet..." I let my voice trail off, the rest of my usual speech hanging in the air between us. Brair is twelve, but so short and chubby. Like our father once was. People often mistaken Brair for a ten-year-old, and I admire how he never lets it get to him. We walk into the dining room, where everybody sits, hands folded in their laps, heads bowed in prayer. I always try to be late for the meals. They pray before each one. Mom told me that Gale never prayed when she saw him last in District 12, and she suspects that Lizzy is the reason he prays now. I hate to pray, mostly because I don't belive there is a God or anything like that. Lizzy tried to get me to pray for so long, but gave up, claiming I was a lost cause. Gale came to my defence, asking her how someone, who has lost so much, could possibly believe that there is some spirit out there, watching over them. Especially when their own mother leaves them for months at a time. So Lizzy, being Lizzy, turned on Brair. He went much easier than I did, since he was only two when Dad died.

They finish their prayers and Brair and I move to eat. The food here isn't like what I remember Greasy Sae making us, back home in District 12, but it's okay. Not wild dog, or fresh game. Just beef from the butcher's shop in town. The guy running the place, his name is Saul, has a rather good-looking son. Fair hair; although it's not as fair as Father's was; green eyes, a round boyish face. He's tall and very muscular, probably from lifting meat. The only problem with him is that he doesn't know what it's like to lose a parent. To try to keep your mother from getting depressed. To almost be an orphan, because your mother leaves you with an old friend as she runs of and does God knows what. He lives a sheltered life, and I'm not mad that it's Camille that he's got his eye on. She looks a lot like her dead aunt Clove, from what people tell me. Lizzy seems to favor her to Poppy, who looks like Gale, which, in effect, makes her look more like me. We could possibly be distant relatives, but all the records of marriages and family trees and such were destroyed when District 12 was burned after the revolution my mother started when she was around sixteen. I think that Lizzy favors Camille to Poppy because Poppy looks like me and I look like my mother and my mother caused the death of her sister, and even though Clove has been dead for a long time, perhaps Lizzy still can't bury her big sister? I don't know, and since Liz is giving me the eternal silent treatment because I can't help that I look like my mom, I'll probably never know.

"Your mother's supposed to come home tonight," Gale tells me. Good. We'll be back at home again. I snort.

"News to me," I say, piling some eggs onto my plate.

"I only got her letter today," Lizzy says in a slightly annoyed tone.

"You'd think she'd care more about her children, rather than just throwing us at you all," I shove a huge spoonful of scrambled eggs into my mouth.

"Don't you dare go there again!" Gale exclaims. "You do this every time! I thought that just for once, you could not bring this up! Just once!"

"It's not my fault!" I yell. "If my mother cared about me and my brother more, then we wouldn't be stuck here all the time! I love it here, but I can't ever be at my own house. This place is more like a home to me, than my own! At our house, I don't have to share a room, no offence Poppy."

"None taken," she replies. "I would like my own room for once, too."

"You're not helping, Poppy," Lizzy says.

"Maybe not you, but she's helping me out here," I say, dropping my fork and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Enough," shouts Gale. "Young lady, you need to learn how to hold you tongue! Your mother's been through a lot, and your attitude doesn't help her!"

"SHE'S NOT AROUND ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE I HAVE ANYWAY!" I scream back.

"Lily, just stop," Brair, sitting next to me, says.

"Fine," I say, and sit in a brooding silence for the rest of the meal. When everyone's dismissed, I storm up to Poppy and my room and slam the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"You made my mom really mad, you know," Poppy says, walking into the room.

"I know," I say. "I just got mad. I understand my mom wants to find her mother, but she's never here when Brair and I need her. She's never home. I wish she'd at least take us with her. We're not children anymore."

"I know," Poppy puts her hand on my shoulder. "Dad's mad, too."

"I'm way too outspoken. I need to work on that."

"Yes, you do."

"I'm going to into town."

"I'll go too," Poppy starts pulling on her shoes. Ten minutes later, we're walking into the town square. "Where to?"

"I don't know," I say.

"Why don't we go buy some cupcakes from the baker's?" Poppy asks.

"What's with you and cupcakes?" I smile.

"Well- it not- I-"

"Oh," I say. "I get it. You like River." River's the baker's son, who is always in the shop, though I've never seen him actually bake anything. He's more interested in fighting. From what I've heard, he wants to be a soldier.

"N- no," Poppy's face is the color of a ripe tomato.

"Oh, don't deny it," I laugh as I head for the baker's. The bell rings as I enter the small shop. Every time I enter a baker's shop, I'm reminded of my father. Of home. I always find myself missing him and not caring what my mother told me about him. I can't see how she thought that the gentle, kind man I knew.

"Welcome," Sharline, the baker's daughter, says.

"Hi, Shar. Is River here?" I ask for Poppy, who doesn't appreciate, for she elbows me in the ribs.

"No," she replies. "He just left with some friends."

"Okay," I say. "Did you're mom make those cupcakes?"

"No, but she made some brownies. You wanna buy some?"

"Of course," I grin.

* * *

When we get back to the house, Lizzy is sitting at the kitchen table. She stands as we enter the room.

"Lily," she says. "I wanted to apologize for earlier-" I hold up my hand, cutting her off.

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask. "I'm the one who is far too outspoken for my own good. I'm the rude one."

"I overreacted. I tend to blame your mother for my sister's death, and you look so much like her," Lizzy's voice fades off.

"I know," is all I say. I walk over to her and hug her. She's like a second mother to me sometimes.

"Gale wants to talk to you," Lizzy says into my hair. "He's in the back yard. Camille and Tobby went out. Tobby has his defence lessons and Camille went to the butcher's."

"Okay," I say.

"Poppy, you're father only wants to see Lily." I walk out onto the back porch.

"Gale?"

"Lily. I wanted to talk to you."

"That's what Lizzy said."

"You know your mother loves you, right?"

"Yes. She has an odd way of showing it, but I know she does love me. And my brother."

"Good." He's sitting on a white lawn chair in the shade of the tree I loved to climb with Poppy when we were little. I sit down in the one next to him, even though I would rather climb up the tree. "You're so much like your mother, you know?"

"So I've been told."

"She rarely forgives and never forgets. You know about everything, don't you?"

"I know that you were my mother's best friend. You both had to fend for your families. I know you helped with the rebelion that my mother started. That you never really liked my father. I know my aunt died before I was born, my grandfather - both of them - died when my parents were young. I know that my mom didn't like my dad's mother."

"Did you know that I was in love with your mother?"

"She never mentioned it," I say through gritted teeth.

"Don't be mad," he said. "I don't blame her. I haven't even told my own children. After the rebelion, right after I met Lizzy, I called your mother. I wanted to see how things were back in District 12. It wasn't her who picked up the phone. It was your father. I was still in love with your mother, and the fact that she chose him over me still had me mad. Mad at your mother, at your father. I pushed Lizzy away. I even pushed my own family away. Anyway, when your father picked up the phone, I asked for your mother. He said that she was unable to go to the phone. I asked why and he hung up. I was worried. There were other people in the district, but I wasn't thinking straight. I caught the next train back to District 12. When I got there, I went right to the house you were born in. I knocked on the door and your mother opened it. She was wearing a dress and it had white handprints on it. When I asked her what it was, she told me that your father was teaching her to bake. When Peeta came out, I looked him in the eye, and saw that he was different. I never trusted him, but what the Capitol did to him? It changed him. He tried to kill your mother many a time. But when I looked in his eyes then, I saw that he had gotten better. We ended up talking, Katniss, forgive me, your mother went back in the house and made lunch while your father and I went for a walk around the district. At some point, I told him that I knew your mother was meant to be with him. That it was not my place to intrude. I made him promise me to make your mother happy, to never leave her. When he made that promise, I made one of my own. I said that I would never bother them again. So when your mother showed up with you and your brother, I was shocked. We took your family in until your mother found work and a place for you to live. Your mother is nothing like her mother. In the face of grief, your grandmother broke. She couldn't do anything, and your mother was the one that fed her family. It made her strong, gaurded. In the face of grief, your mother took action, though she was never one to sit around and do nothing. What I'm trying to get at is this. Don't give up on your mother. She hasn't had the easiest life, and she thinks finding her mother will give her a little piece of her old life back. She misses your grandfather and your aunt, but most of all, she misses your father. He was her saving grace, and, as much as I don't like it, he kept her when I couldn't." I don't know what he means by that last part. "I never liked your father one bit. He always seemed too good to be true."

"Was he really gentle to everybody? Not just Brair and me?"

"He was kind and gentle, yes. But not to everybody. When he got mad, and I think it was because of the tourture that the Capitol put him though, he would lose controll of himself. Once I got a call from your mother. She was frantic, saying that your father was breaking windows and glasses. But never once did he lay a hand on her. She was the only one who could calm him down, that is until you were born. He would stay with you while your mother went out and when he lost it, he would leave the room, as to not hurt you."

"Gale?"

"Yes?" his eyes are distant.

"Can I tell you something I've never told anybody? Nobody but my father and I knew about it, and he told me to never tell anybody."

"What is it?" Gale sounds concerned. He touches my arm, something he always does when I cry or am upset. "Did your father ever hurt you?"

"No," I say, "not that I can remember, anyway."I pull the hem of my shirt up a little. There's a scar, a jagged, ugly scar that I've had ever since I can remember. It goes across my stomach from the left rib down to the right hip. "I can't remember where I got this," I tell him. "Dad told me to never show anybody, not even Mom."

"Lily," is all he says. After what seems like forever, he speaks again. "I haven't a clue how you would have gotten that, but you should show your mother when she comes back. And tell her everything you told me. But wait until she's settled back in here, okay?"

"Okay." I stand and turn to go.

"And Lily?"

"Yes?" I turn back.

"There are games out there that can be played. Don't ever, even for a moment, think of getting involved. There's always an other way to deal with something."

"Okay?" I'm confused. I walk back to the house, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what on Earth he could have meant by that.


	3. Chapter 3

**This Chapter's not done yet, but I haven't updated it for a while, so I'll continue to work on it.**

"What'd he have to say?" Poppy asks, sitting on the bed.

"Well, he told me not to play any games," I watch as her eyebrows rise. "Yeah, and he also told me about my mom," I almost say how Gale was in love with my mom, but bite my tounge. He asked me not to tell anybody that part, so I won't.

"Oh, yeah? What'd he say about her?"

"Oh, you know."

"No, I don't." I'm spared having to answer, Lizzy is calling us to lunch. "You're going to tell me later," Poppy says, pointing a finger at me, the look on her face so serious, I break out laughing.

"You know you can't make me, right?" I say, still giggling a little.

"Well," she says. "Now you just forced me to. Be prepared to spill the beans."

"Why would I want to do that?" I ask, playing dumb. "It's such a mess to clean up."

"You know what I mean," she sighs.

"Oh, do I now?" I smile as we walk into the kitchen. As I turn my head, I see something that makes my heart almost stop in my chest. I freeze at the sight of my mother, standing before me.

"Lily?" she asks. Her hair, dark like mine and pulled back in a braid (like mine), is streaked with gray, her eyes darker than usual, and the starts of wrinkles are at the corners of her eyes. It hits me, just now, how long she's been gone and how much I've missed her. But what also hits me is a feeling of betrayl. I should have been there while she grew those gray hairs, while those wrinkles settled where they are now. "You've grown so much. I've missed you." She just stands there, out of place in the small kitchen.

"I thought you weren't supposed to get back until tonight," I say.

"Lily, I know I've been away for a long time, but-" I grab her in a hug, cutting her off.

"I missed you, Momma," I whisper into her ear.

"I missed you, too."

"Mom?" I hear Briar's voice from behind me.

"Briar," Mom reaches over and pulls him into our hug. We stay there for a little while, until Mom says we ought to leave. I think about Gale and how it would probably be a little awkward for him, so I go along, promising to meet up with Poppy later to 'spill the beans'.

* * *

When we get home, Mom goes into the kitchen and starts setting out pots.

"Um, Mom?" I ask, coming into the room with her.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"There's no food in the house... We haven't been living here for a while..."


End file.
